Features

Sausage Life

The column that went to Glastonbury in a brand-new Mercedes with a four storey air-conditioned yurt READER: So, you’re back from Glastonbury. How was it?MYSELF: Underwhelming. So much miming. Can’t people play anymore?READER: Miming?MYSELF: Yes, and I’m not talking about…
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Features

Sausage Life

Bird GuanoThe column that resembles one of the holy saints dressed as a wolf in sheep’s clothing READER: Who impressed you the most then?MYSELF: Mohammed Ali, The Beatles, Martin Luther King……READER: No, I’m talking about the Tory leadership : Impressed…
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Features

Sausage Life

The column which thinks that averting the eyes is the new staring BRAINWAVEFollowing his innovative scheme for replacing the seeds in raspberry jam with shredded bus tickets, Hastings inventor Gordon Thinktank’s ingenious new idea is to line overcoats with bear…
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Features

Sausage Life

The column which thinks that buffoonery is the last refuge of the failed dictator READER: Did you see the Eurovision Song Contest? We came last!MYSELF: No. I was busy watching some drying paint. READER:  You don’t approve, I take : As…
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