Tag archives for Politikal Pokes
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
WHO’S THE FAIREST? I think Batty Boris has one of those mirrors similar to the one employed by the wicked queen in Snow White. As he stares into it like…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
UNION JACKOFF Now that Nigel Farage, the official spokesman for the terminally thick, has been unceremoniously kicked off the commercial radio station LBC, he will no doubt be able to…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
BLIND MAN’S BLUFF Let’s not beat about the bush. Dominic Cummings is a dangerous threat to parliamentary democracy, not to mention innocent motorists. This is a man who is apparently…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
ANY OLD IRONY He doesn’t drink alcohol because it clouds his brain. His only known vices are Big Macs, long ties, Fox News, the acquisition of money rather than wealth,…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
AS IF WE WEREN’T CONFUSED ENOUGH After the Spanish civil war, the British government took urgent action, aware that the aerial bombing of civilians was highly likely to occur should…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
CORONA – LATEST GOVERNMENT ADVICE Sombre military music. A man with strange hair enters a badly-lit studio and in a low monotone, recites these words from an autocue: Things are…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
Trying to keep down appearances A PLAGUE OF LOCUMSArmies of retired GPs are to be marshalled in order to cope with Covid-19. Dubbed Dad’s Doctors their efficacy has been thrown into…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
‘OL BLUE EYES IS BACK I thank The Albion’s Bob Tipler who passed on this absolute gem of a music agency press release, which manages to paint a tantalising picture of…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
FORGERY Boris Johnson is determined to “forge a new Britain”, once we Get Brexit Done, a phrase so stupid it defies satire. Brexit will not ‘get done’, because Brexit is…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
MORONITYThe Trump brand is so toxic in the UK that even stupid people have stopped liking him, but in the US, certain sectors of the TV-reared population lap it all…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU SQUIRMSajid Javid, owner of the most insincere face outside of Boris Johnson’s, is, it seems, quite prepared to say absolutely anything in order to be…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
HOW TO IGNORE PRAGMATISM AND STAMPEDE OVER THE CLIFF LIKE PROPER LEMMINGSSince the UK’s quiet little right-wing coup has taken over Downing Street, we have noticed an alarming trend in online…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
HAIR HITLERIf you don’t recognise the boiling resentment of 1933 Germany being reflected in this evil gang of swivel-eyed villains, the engineers of a coup that has just taken over…
Politikal Pokes by Lobbytroll
POSTMAN PATTERLike good Catholic infants reciting their rote-learned catechism without the slightest idea of what it means, the MEPs of the Brexit Party (The Alliance of the Terminally Thick), asserted…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
BORIS’S DEAD CAT Anyone for PM? Champion of the low-income obese Boris Johnson has been reduced, in the absence of any discernible policies which are not dog-whistle soundbites, to ridiculous non…
Politikal Pokes by Lobbytroll
THE BIG FIGHTThe ghastly stiffs engaged in the tory leadership contest have gradually been eliminated. Now only slab of lard Boris Johnson and pale glass of mineral water Jeremy Hunt…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
GROUNDHOG MAYThe Prime Minister’s re-presenting of her vilified “deal” for a third time, with a fourth possibly on the horizon, appears to confirm Einstein’s edict: Insanity is doing the same…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME IT’S A COMMODITYHastings Borough Council and the admirable Surviving Streets UK are working in partnership so they can use Churchwood House as offices and a base…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
A QUESTION OF TRUSSA few years ago, a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum occurred, and through this portal fell Liz Truss, former resident of a parallel universe.…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
BERTS OF A FEATHEROn January 26th there was a meeting between Amber Rudd and all interested parties concerning the extended closure of Hastings pier. At the meeting, pier owner Mr…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
BOOZING FOR BREXITIn an attempt to blind us with the science of words, cheap beer magnate Tim Martin made the Hastings branch of Wetherspoons (Trip Advisor’s “third worst Wetherspoons in…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WORKHOUSE AND PENSIONS Has our cling-on MP Amber Rudd no sense of shame? This Dickensian government appears determined to inflict its Oliver Twist values on a…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
POSH & BREX We recently attended a meeting of the Eurosceptic Institute for Mumbo Jumbo, Baloney & Contemptible Bunkum, where we asked chief mannikin Jacob Rees-Mogg, what possible reason there…
Politikal Pokes
Opinionated jabs for the pointy-fingered By Lobbytroll PEER PRESSURE On our letters page you can read, if you have the time, a long impassioned plea to “talk up the pier”…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
FARAGE BALLOON Speaking for those he promised to represent by regularly attending the European Parliament, Nigel Farage, privately educated banker, absentee UkIP MEP for South East England and mouthpiece of…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
MONEY DON’T TALK IT SCREAMS The family run enterprise of Saudi Arabia, super-wealthy patron of unscrupulous and sociopathic arms dealers, worldwide exporter of black gold and Wahhabi terrorism, has finally…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
DEAD IN THE WATER So the £500,000 proposal by Hastings Harbour Quarter (HHQ) to construct, right in the heart of Hastings’ fishing quarter, a luxury marina for 600 boats, a…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
TRUFFLES AT MILL A warning to any talk radio broadcaster foolish enough to suggest that deliberately misleading misinformation was the driving force behind the “will o’ the people” Brexit vote;…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
LET THE HARD BREX BEGIN Like the perpetual threat of a shower, PM Theresa May appears to be always on the verge of bursting into tears, even during our delightful…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
Open Letter Dear Hastings Borough Council. Do you think there might be the flimsiest chance you could do something about the 16 bars of tinny, inept, patronizing, ghastly, amateurish “music”,…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
PRITI OBVIOUS The MP and fake, Priti “Vacant” Patel, whose shameless ambition knows no bounds, guested on “Question Time” last Friday. She appeared comfortable with the fact that the only…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE Perhaps one should blame the current trend for acceptable obfuscation and bare-faced mendacity in politics for the Lewis Carroll situation we find ourselves in in Hastings?…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
THE UNDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION Mrs. May has ordered that members of the cabinet remain locked in the headmistress’s office at Chequers until a ‘solution’ to the insoluble question of the Dog’s…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
PAINTING THE TOWN GOLD According to Adam Stephens and Finbarr O’Connell, of Heritage Lottery Fund-appointed administrators Smith & Williamson LLP: “After careful assessment of all offers received for the pier,…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
SEA CHANGE – AS GOOD AS A REST? Empty office buildings in Havelock Rd, ‘business parks’ that decimate areas of outstanding natural beauty whilst remaining unfinished and deserted, and the…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
BORIS’S JET I’m not referring here to the inept Foreign Secretary’s ability to urinate over high walls, useful though that might be. No, this is something quite different. Boris Johnson…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED RICH Lobbytroll’s already limited capacity for tolerating precocious children was seriously breached recently when the BBC broadcast a 1982 archive recording of a 12-year-old child bragging…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
WHAT A BOMBER The Tony Blair historical dustbin beckons for Theresa May. Couldn’t the bombing decision have been postponed until parliament reconvened? Or does political expediency trump democracy (no pun…
Politikal Pokes by Lobbytroll
L’ODEUR DU POISSON Some prominent Brexiteers (the usual bunch of half-baked stirrers as it happens) are now flapping about like floundering cod over the latest EU fishing quota news. Unsurprisingly,…
Politikal Pokes by Lobbytroll
GOTCHA! Theresa May’s Falklands moment has arrived at last. Just when you thought her Belgrano-like silhouette was slipping below the political waterline, the mafia state of Russia has come to…