THE UNDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION
Mrs. May has ordered that members of the cabinet remain locked in the headmistress’s office at Chequers until a ‘solution’ to the insoluble question of the Dog’s Brexit has been reached. This has allegedly produced, thanks to the banning of mobile phones, some kind of compromise. The four horsemen of the apocalypse, Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-Mogg and David Davis, along with their sinister, absent controller, Aron Banks, and the politically-redundant-but-still hanging-in-there shit stirrer Nigel Farage, will be furious, of course. But what exactly do this gang of gung-ho mercenaries stand to gain personally from this increasingly barmy-looking situation? Lobbytroll’s  guess is quite a lot. But a lot of what, exactly? The hysterical pre-war throwback Rees-Mogg is still banging on about how restricted our trade will be with the rest of the world should we retain even a hint of a customs union. This curious untruth appears to satisfy the ignorant armchair experts (none of whom have imported or exported anything in their lives), who merely require validation of their expertise in the light of their newly-acquired status as fully fledged political commentators, yet it is backed up by no evidence whatsoever. If Rees-Mogg’s assertion is true, have we then, been barred from trade deals with the rest of the world since our membership of the EU commenced? If so how on earth have UK garment retailers managed to continue sourcing all that cheap, unethically-manufactured tat?

THE LOON’S A BALLOON
I see that certain members of the public are foaming at the mouth because a visit to UK by the Leader Of The Free World is to be commemorated with a huge crowd-funded balloon tethered outside the Houses of Parliament depicting him as a nappy-wearing baby. I refer you to this newspaper’s publication (issue 96) of an illustration by my colleague, Bird Guano, depicting the roly-poly president’s British hair-apparent Boris Johnson, as a huge balloon tethered outside the Houses of Parliament.
I wonder, as contributors to the erstwhile Private Eye would say, if perhaps they are related?

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https://www.hastingsindependentpress.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/SAT-trump-baby.jpghttps://www.hastingsindependentpress.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/SAT-trump-baby-150x150.jpgHIPFeaturesSatirePolitikal PokesTHE UNDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION Mrs. May has ordered that members of the cabinet remain locked in the headmistress’s office at Chequers until a ‘solution’ to the insoluble question of the Dog’s Brexit has been reached. This has allegedly produced, thanks to the banning of mobile phones, some kind of compromise. The...The Hastings & St Leonards non-profit community newspaper