GOTCHA!

Theresa May’s Falklands moment has arrived at last. Just when you thought her Belgrano-like silhouette was slipping below the political waterline, the mafia state of Russia has come to her rescue. Amidst the jerking knees and gleeful armchair warrior whoops, Theresa’s semi-hysterical statement to the House of Commons contained the fascinating promise that Britain would now rid itself of the what she described as … “serious criminals and corrupt elites,” adding, “There is no place for these people – or their money – in our country.”

Excellent idea, Prime Minister, but one nagging question remains: if these known criminals – some of whom arrived here on the run, accused of massive financial impropriety by their own government – have been operating in our midst for so long, why have you not expelled them already? More to the point, as criminal suspects, how did they get in? Surely they had to tick some boxes at immigration, or wherever it is billionaire oligarchs tick their boxes?

WIND-UP RADIO MAN NOT DEAD

Nigel Farage, the inventor of wind-up politics, did not pass away surrounded by friends
and family after a short illness last Friday. He instead got up, donned his camel coat and carried on his lifelong vocation: making up lies about imagined enemies and whipping up specious arguments for a grateful media by talking total bollocks in the style of an 11-year-old schoolboy off his face on energy drinks and Xanax.

THE NUTTALLS AND BOLTONS OF POLITICS

The breakaway party proposed by Henry Bolton, the fourth ex-leader in 18 months of the now-pointless UKIP, will launch next Thursday with a whimper rather than a bang. The new party will be known as NEWKIP, and Mr. Bolt-On says it will “campaign unceasingly for our full independence from the EU.” He told us that the party would “welcome with open arms anyone with a grudge against anything”, and promised that “having a racist girlfriend half your age who can’t keep her mouth shut will be no bar to membership”.

 

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https://www.hastingsindependentpress.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/satire.jpghttps://www.hastingsindependentpress.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/satire.jpgHIPSatirelobbytroll,Politikal PokesGOTCHA! Theresa May’s Falklands moment has arrived at last. Just when you thought her Belgrano-like silhouette was slipping below the political waterline, the mafia state of Russia has come to her rescue. Amidst the jerking knees and gleeful armchair warrior whoops, Theresa’s semi-hysterical statement to the House of Commons...The Hastings & St Leonards non-profit community newspaper