When Love Gets Tough
Anja Petitto is an extraordinary woman, and so was her beloved mother, Tuula. Anja has spent the past four years working hard to set up the brilliant independent record shop, Tough Love, specialising in vinyl, on Bohemia Road. But, at the same time, and indeed for years before, Anja has also been trying to support her mother as she struggled with what was, belatedly, diagnosed as Alzheimer’s.
We went into the shop to see how she, and the shop, was coping. She explained with a hint of bitter irony that, in terms of business, “It’s been the best Christmas I’ve had since I’ve been here”. Then Anja further explained that her mother actually passed away on Christmas Day. The successful festive period had evidently also been a time of exceptional pain. But, as Anja says, it was her regular community of customers who “held me up” during an incredibly difficult time. Rockers, it seems, tend to come together in times of extreme stress.
LOVE PERSISTS
Alzheimer’s is undoubtedly a cruel disease. As Anja said: “I lost my mother piece by piece.” The real tragedy of Alzheimer’s seems to be that the victim is robbed of themselves and, inevitably, families find that the loved one has effectively gone before they have actually gone.
Tuula was evidently a very generous and compassionate and creative person. Indeed, if there can be any compensation for such a shattering slow-motion trauma, Anja takes some comfort from the fact that her mother created all manner of beautiful things – knitwear, jewellery and various unusual gifts – that remain on sale in the shop. As she says: “I love the fact that around the world there are people wearing the things that she lovingly created.”
Anja is, to some extent, now trying to recover from a prolonged painful experience. Her mother’s situation was made far worse by an original misdiagnosis, caused by relative ignorance and complacency within the Health Service. For this reason, Anja has become a major supporter of Alzheimer’s Research, and indeed the profits from sales of her mother’s creative crafts go straight to the charity.
INTIMATE RATTLING
The record store itself continues to go from strength to strength. One of the things that make the store quite unique is its commitment to live gigs within the small shop. As Anja says: ”We don’t mind making the windows rattle.” It is undoubtedly an intimate sort of venue, bringing bands and fans very close together. The next gig will be the remarkable Alexander Wolfe, a singer-songwriter known for probing some of the darker depths of masculinity and vulnerability.
What Anja has created at Tough Love is quite something. She set out to make a ‘safe space’ for non-conformist people and perhaps especially for women, and she has done that. Old-school record shops can often seem rather soaked in testosterone, but this is different. It is in many ways a community hub for all manner of what might be called ‘Bohemians’.
Anja is determined to keep pushing for more awareness of Alzheimer’s to try to prevent other people from the misdiagnosis that her mother experienced. It’s a tough road to stay on, but something about her suggests that Anja had precisely the sort of stamina and inner strength needed to keep on keeping on.
Alexander Wolfe will be playing at Tough Love on 31 January at 3 pm.Tough Love will be celebrating Record Store Day on 18 April.
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