People of Hastings and St Leonards: Debbie Goodsell
This week KATHRYN SUTTER met with Debbie Goodsell, an independent Funeral Celebrant serving the community of Hastings and St Leonards.
Debbie is Sedlescombe born and bred; she had a successful career in marketing before becoming a Funeral Celebrant five years ago. It may not sound like an obvious career move, so we chatted about her journey into the role. “When I had just left school, one of my friends died. She was full of life, a very lively character. When I went to the funeral, I remember thinking the service could’ve been about anyone, there was nothing that spoke of her and her love of life. Throughout the years this experience stuck with me and I thought about how much more of a celebration a funeral could be. Five years ago, I was finally in the position to make a go of it and I haven’t looked back since!”
Debbie shows clear passion for her role and made sure to develop good connections with the local funeral industry before starting work. “I knew that it was important to really understand the processes that happen after a death, so I spent time speaking to local funeral directors, crematorium technicians, vicars and the bereavement team at the Conquest Hospital. I also visited the hospital mortuary, which was a fantastic experience, filled with dignity and respect. Now I feel able to explain to families what happens when a loved one dies and have the contacts to ensure that they are well supported. I often think those that work in the funeral industry are hidden away but they play a key role in society, supporting people with professionalism, care and respect.”
For Debbie each funeral is unique and personal. She spends many hours getting to know a family and their loved one and spends at least a day writing up each person’s service from scratch; there is no script. “The best thing after a service is someone coming up to me and asking if I knew the deceased, then I know I have done a good job.”
“One funeral director I know described me as a chameleon! I can adapt and change the service to whatever the family wants – personalisation is key. Relationships with the families I support are so important to me; my care doesn’t stop when the funeral is over, and many families keep in touch and ring me down the line to chat about their loved one.”
Debbie has a real skill for encouraging families to share the good times and key memories of their loved one’s life. “Often when I start chatting to a family, they can only remember the hard times of illness or distress, or they think that the deceased didn’t have many stories. When we get chatting this all changes and their special interests come out. One lady told me I should work for MI5 due to the amount of information I find out! I always try to incorporate these interests into the ceremony. At one funeral we had some burlesque ladies dancing and at another one there was a saxophone player. I always say to families there are no rules, the funeral is all about the deceased and what they would have wanted.”
Through Debbie’s work, she meets a great variety of people and thinks that the diversity of our town is a strength. “So many of the families I meet have great stories about the town at difficult times such as in the war, and I am always learning more about its history. I’m a voice for the family to share these stories and history.”
Throughout our chat Debbie’s devotion to her work was clear. “For me this is a vocation, not just a job. It has really shaped my thoughts on life. When I’m having a hard day, I remember all the stories I’ve heard in my work and remember to live for every day.”
To request Debbie as your chosen funeral Celebrant simply ask your Funeral Director. You can find out more about her work by searching Debbie Goodsell Funeral Celebrant on Facebook.
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