Garlic
We all know that garlic is good for us, but in an abstract way, like going for a walk or ‘cooking from fresh’. Hate that saying - it seems to fit into the same compartment as irritating words like ‘jim…
If Music Be The Food Of Love, I’m Out Of Luck
I haven’t got any musical talent and I don’t mind. Which reminds me of a programme I saw about overweight kids. They asked a girl whether she was concerned about her weight, and she said: “I don’t mind, it’s everyone…
Cynicism and soup
My mate told me that there’s now Janu-hairy, encouraging women to let their armpit hair grow for charity. I didn’t realise, I could have raised millions by now. I can’t help thinking that all these portmanteau monthly causes just reinforce…
The very almost Batty food quiz 2018
Here in the soufflé and whisk of Christmas cheer I have decided to give you something,. I know, iI know, all you have done is taken, but I’m so generous, that even though you have scraped my bowl clean, mopped…
Eat Your Mummy With Some Herbs
It’s that time of year when we all start considering the more horrible, ghastly side of this multiverse. The one where the ghost of your Aunt Mildred is still rattling around in the kitchen, looking for her golden syrup tin…
Purple Velvet, In Your Face
Beetroot is the super hero of any diet, diving through with antioxidants, fibre, Vitamin A and C. Let’s powerhouse through to Boctober or Beetrember, or one of those combined with another terrible portmanteau that just says, it’s good for you…
Hairy Sister
I’ve just been on holiday in Espana. Yes, I have, for two weeks doing sod all other than wondering what I wanted for dinner and whether I had the energy to take the parasol down. I could hardly be bothered…
A fever that’s so hard to bear
I have been investigating food that helps prevent sunburn. Yes, prevent, that means before one turns into the Swiss flag, one could employ some measures to be more like that famous flag, tan and brown, the one that doesn’t exist.…
Burn my Cucumber
“It’s hard being hot,” that’s what the chilli says to the bell pepper, “People are either obsessed with you, or dislike you and ignore you at parties.” The bell pepper sighs, bored with the attention-seeking ways of the chilli, but…
Rempah Malaysian Kitchen
So I was pootling around in my car, doing my delivering as I do and lost in my own thoughts, obsessing about things that I can’t change, like my carpets and everything that is, only to be pulled back to…