Promises Should Not be Broken
DAME JOANNA LUMLEY, writing exclusively for HIP, recalls the nuns who taught her at Holmhurst St Mary convent in St Leonards and describes how shocked she was by the desecration of their graves
Only the Upper Sixth were allowed to attend funerals of old Sisters of the Community of the Holy Family at St Mary’s, the Anglican convent which stood on the ridge above Hastings. There were seventy girls boarding, and about two hundred in the whole school. For eight months of every year the nuns were in loco parentis, teaching us and keeping us in order, advising and caring for us and being remarkably sanguine about lapses in behaviour. Even the most serious crimes, like smoking or breaking bounds, were dealt with sternly but with resignation and humour by the holy sisters. It was a very happy school.
When an old nun died, we were asked at assembly to rejoice for her soul as she went on her way to a better life. Her small blue bedspread was laid over the coffin, and the procession went slowly through the school grounds, the cross carried before, a censor swinging incense, holy water sprinkled, past the tall trees, bamboos and towering rhododendrons, past the stagnant pond we called Typhoid, past the Boarders’ Gardens to the Nuns’ Graveyard, surrounded by stone walls and reached through a locked gate. This was sacred ground, consecrated as a final resting place for members of the community. A simple metal cross marked each grave. When we returned as old girls we read the names aloud and remembered every one of those kind and tolerant women who were such a huge part of our young lives. And we tut-tutted at the brambles and nettles that had run riot over the dreadfully neglected graves, even though the Mother Agnes Trust had been set up to care for it.
We were therefore very shocked to hear that the graveyard had been destroyed. By the time we found out, the graves had been disinterred and the bones collected and cremated, often jumbled together. We were told there would be a memorial erected, and that the problem had been badgers who had disturbed the graves. Newly built houses now crowding the school grounds wouldn’t want children frightened by bones sticking out of the ground. The walls and gate had been destroyed; but I had believed there was a preservation order on them in perpetuity.
We were told by the Trust that all the nuns were buried there; but they weren’t. Three sisters were interred at Malling Abbey – which kindly took in the remaining nuns once the Community of the Holy Family had been dissolved. I attended the last burial there, of Sister Phyllis Ella: why didn’t the Trust know this? What has been going on?
Most importantly, why were the living relatives of the nuns not informed of any of this as plans were made? Several old girls had aunts or cousins at the convent; how was all this conducted so furtively and swiftly and irrevocably, without any effort to contact them in the process?
Sally Cole, a junior girl when I was in the Upper Sixth, lives locally and alerted me to the desecration of the graves. Why didn’t someone make the smallest effort to find Sally and ask her permission to dig up the grave of her aunt, Sister Barbara?
Does any of this matter? After all, life goes on, and houses have to be built. And the faraway days of long fields and woods sloping down towards the sea, lawns and terraces and chapel bells, and girls reading letters from home: this is all over.
But some part of me says holy burial grounds are to be respected: that decency and courtesy should be part of every business transaction: that the scramble to make money should not elbow out human feelings, and promises made should not be broken. There are many questions that need answers, and they must not be buried under the weeds that grow over the neglected graves of the Sisters of St Mary’s School.
We hope you have enjoyed reading this article. The future of our volunteer led, non-profit publication would be far more secure with the aid of a small donation. You can also support local journalism by becoming a friend of HIP. It only takes a minute and we would be very grateful.
Sister Phyllis Ella was headmistress of the Junior School, providing guidance for us in our early years. Other nuns I fondly recall were dear old Sister Jessie who went bare foot with sandals throughout the year and dear Sister Jean; then there was Sister Barbara who petrified most and ruled the senior school for the majority of my time there.
It beggars belief that these ladies remains have been treated so callously, particularly by the St Agnes Trust, who should’ve shown more respect to these nuns who devoted their lives to the church and educating generations of girls.
This Saturday there will be a meeting online by the old girls if you wish to join.
Very shocking to hear about the desecration of the nuns remains. I have stumbled across this information after doing a search of St Mary’s. I remember Sister Phyllis Ella fondly at Stonecourt with Sister Christine, who used to manage the garden. Sisters Jessie, and Jean used to teach at the senior school and I too was afraid of Sister Brabara! The buildings and grounds of both Stonecourt and Holmhurst were beautiful