From Grieving to Healing
How 5Rhythms Dance saved my life
EMMA LEECH
I was a young woman in my early twenties in love with a musician, a guitarist called Ray Jeffery. Like so many young rock’n’roll free spirits, he had a dark addiction to drugs: heroin. The twisted path like a vine weed wrapped itself deep into our heart and minds, taking over our life.
Sadly Ray didn’t overcome his struggle with the drug, and he died from an overdose, a day before going into rehab. It was 1990. My life turned on its axis never to be the same again, the trauma and grief spiralling me out of control, alcohol and rock music drowning out and numbing the pain of losing my soul mate, best friend and first love.
As a lost soul seeking to heal, I ended up in the US, where I hitchhiked my way from New Orleans to Texas, California and Las Vegas. Following my love of blues guitar, and rock’n’roll, it was a road trip that would test my survival instincts to the core, meeting street musicians, escaping drug dens, hitching rides from alcoholic truck drivers into Texan deserts: feeling like I was in a Tarantino movie.
On my return three months later, I walked into a shop in Teddington High Street where I got into conversation with the owner, a wonderful woman, called Angela. Her shop was an oasis of calm and spirit, selling everything from djembe drums to healing crystals. The rainbow clothes on display contrasted with mine – I always dressed in black. We talked openly; I told her of my grief, and she asked me if I’d heard of a dance healer called Gabrielle Roth.
“No,” I replied.
But her name stuck with me… and I was to meet her a year later when she came to London from NYC to teach a class in 5Rhythms – of which she was the founder.
I’d always danced, danced freely; it was a place I felt the most relaxed. I was never confident with the social banter; the dance floor was where I felt at home. But this dance was different, I walked in to over 200 people in Battersea Arts where Gabrielle Roth was guiding us into deep expression. Her Jamaican drummer providing us with the tribal beats that rocked us deep into our bones.
That’s when I felt safe, held by the drums, seen, free to be real, to be myself fully in all my heartache. Suddenly all the pain held inside had a place to pour itself, into the big wide-open compassionate arms of the great mystery, the dance itself. It took a while to overcome my self-consciousness, but once I started moving, and with the masterful guidance of Gabrielle Roth, I was soon being danced by something so much bigger, and ‘being danced’ was deeply healing.
From that moment in 1991, I followed Gabrielle Roth for twenty years, studying with her to overcome my grief, before becoming a teacher of her 5Rhythms practice myself. I’ve now been dancing and teaching for over 30 years. It has become my life path to bring movement to humanity to offer space to explore what it is to be a human being. A healing art.
There is much written about 5Rythms, from the organisation website it is described as: “A dynamic movement practice – a practice of being in your body – that ignites creativity, connection, and community.” 5rhythms.com. It goes on: “While a seemingly simple process, the 5Rhythms practice facilitates deep and unending explorations, moving the dancer beyond self-imposed limitations and isolation into new depths of creativity and connection.”
Each of the Rhythms offers a different quality of energy that opens up a dance that is fluid, fiery, edgy, wild, jazzy and zen. In name, the five rhythms are: Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness.
No steps to learn, improvised, spontaneous dances are unveiled. The self-consciousness is overcome by giving our fascination over to our body’s movement language. Every dance is unique, we dive into the unknown mystery that reveals us to ourselves in our diversity, there is nothing that can’t be danced, a safe place to study what it is to ‘be’ a human being.
Learning to live with grief is one thing, moving on is another. As part of that journey I am making a film documentary with Rod Morris, an award-winning local film maker, exploring grief, loss and hope: the aspect of hope is Ray’s guitar (handmade by Tony Zemaitis, who made guitars for the likes of Keith Richards and David Gilmour) which had until now been shut away in its case like a coffin. The guitar is now being played again for the first time since his passing, and I dance to the music it plays. That music is supplied by fellow guitarists who tune in to the instrument and play from their hearts.
The production costs are being crowdfunding to enable the film to be completed. If you resonate with the story and would like to donate, please follow the link indiegogo.com/projects/let-it-play.
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