Growing up to Become a Man
ALAN WRIGHT talks about his work with the Hastings community of ABandOfBrothers
The Hastings community of ABandOfBrothers (ABOB) held their twice yearly ‘Homecoming’ at The Salvation Army Hall, Hastings on Monday 30 June, marking the completion of each participant’s journey through our mentoring programme, a significant milestone for the young men involved.
Alan and Kerem share a hug
ABandOfBrothers is a charity that pairs trained mentors with young men (aged 18-25), who have grown up in care or are at risk of the criminal justice system. We run a ten-week programme to prepare men for a weekend camp, then a further three months mentoring and weekly meetings for as long as they like to attend.
ABOB mentors spend time listening, and reflecting with other young men, to help them find more meaning in their lives. This is done through one-to-one meetings and weekly community gatherings which aim to encourage a sense of purpose as a man, as well as a sense of integrity and accountability.
The organisation originated in Brighton in 2006; we started our Hastings group six years ago, joining eleven other groups around England. As an older man, aged 66, I wish I’d benefited from such a programme when I was young, to help deal with low self-esteem and to work out a future path in my life.
I only have very light addictions in my own life, but after listening to the young men we mentor, some with more damaging habits such as alcohol, drugs or gambling, I’ve discovered how a non-judgemental approach can help them to overcome these addictions.
Although I’ve found mentoring challenging, it’s very rewarding to witness a young man’s growth in confidence, and the results this brings, such as seeing young men return to studies at college or finding a job.
If you know of a young man needing some guidance, or any older men in the Hastings area who would like to become a mentor, contact Stu on 07881 848965. For more information visit [email protected]
Kerem Wallace, aged 20, talks about what ABANDOFBROTHERS means to him
The name of A Band of Brothers is more than fitting. I see it as family. Just knowing that each man has gone through the same process that I have, gives me the comfort to open up when I need to.
It’s helped me to socialise and getting out more. I’m talking to people I may or may not know; I can even hold myself accountable when I mess up or break an agreement I’ve made.
I’m glad I took that first step and took on a mentor. Don’t get me wrong, I was nervous when deciding yes or no. I didn’t know what would happen, I didn’t know what I’d go through, but I’m sure glad I took that step.
I feel more alive and would love to see more men doing the same. I attend our community meetings regularly, and despite everyone knowing my past, I am welcomed with open arms.
Having a mentor has helped me to decide who I want to be, and one day I too will become a mentor.
Kerem
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