Features

Sausage Life

The column which thinks that tired, worn-out cliché is the elephant in the room READER: Football’s coming home! And on top of a glorious heatwave to boot! MYSELF:  I assume you’re referring to plucky little England’s first ever penalty shoot-out…
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Features

Sausage life!

The column that won’t shoot until it sees the whites of your eggs READER: I see there were riots at the Poundland closing-down sale. MYSELF: I’m not surprised. There was 10% off everything. READER: So what happened? MYSELF: Apparently the…
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Features

Sausage Life

The column which thinks that a cambio is as good as a siesta READER: You know what’s missing from this column, don’t you? MYSELF: A crossword? READER: Wow! How did you know I was going to say that? MYSELF: Oddly…
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Features

Sausage Life

The column firmly aimed at the louche, disaffected bon viveur and the properly bearded man-about-town READER:  The Royal Wedding! Did you see it? MYSELF:  See it? I was there mate. READER:  No! Really? MYSELF:  If you were watching it on…
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Features

Sausage Life

Bird Guano The column which cuts off its nose to spite its face and then complains that it can’t smell the coffee READER: 100 issues! Amazing. Did you get a telegram from The Queen? MYSELF: No, but we got a…
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Features

Sausage Life

The column which, although it disapproves of what you say, defends to the death its right to punch you in the face. READER: I really can’t believe this Brexit thing is dragging on like this. I mean the people have…
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Satire

Sausage Life

The column that ties its own shoelaces together, then tries to run away. MYSELF: Remember when UK advertising was envied and admired around the world for its innovation, dash, and quirky British humour? READER: Ah, the golden years. Gold Blend,…
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Sausage Life

The column which always leaves the bathroom where it would wish to have found it MYSELF: Judging by recent photographs, our MP is looking a bit worse for wear lately. Do you think the pressure of having a proper job…
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