Love it or hate it, Christmas is coming and it’s just days away. With millions trying to juggle the huge rise in fuel and food costs, the extravagance of it all might seem a bit inappropriate. Last Christmas everyone was waiting to see if Boris could ‘save’ Christmas. And of course he did thanks to friends with ‘warp-speed’ PPE and other such solutions. But let’s not linger on that subject, after all it is Christmas.

This year any sub-standard masks have been swapped for jolly paper hats. Most can look forward to a good old-fashioned Christmas. For more than 70% of British households that means turkey and trimmings. Unfortunately, that might turn out to be beyond the means of many this year. The price of turkey like almost everything else has gone through the skylight. But as we shall see, there could be a cheaper alternative available. 

Tried and Tested Turkey?

Apparently Henry VIII was the first to sit down to turkey at Christmas, although in his case, it was probably surrounded by an entire aviary of swans and other feathered creatures. Turkey became a popular seasonal centrepiece in Victorian times. In Charles Dickens’ 1843 A Christmas Carol, Scrooge ultimately sends Bob Cratchit a huge turkey to replace his scrawny goose. This was quite a gesture; turkey was an expensive treat until the expansion of the railways. 

TURKEY BOOTS

Flocks of up to a thousand turkeys had to be driven on foot from Norfolk to London for the Christmas market. The journey took about three months, and the turkeys wore little leather boots to protect their feet. Seriously. Geese, however were not keen on footwear and they had to have their feet dipped in tar for protection. Unsurprisingly, turkey was not cheap. And even in the 1930s a Christmas bird would cost in the region of a week’s salary.

The rising price of turkey in 2022 has nothing to do with the cost of miniature leather boots and the long walk from Norfolk. It’s blamed on bird flu and Vladimir. Europe has relied to a great extent on Ukrainian corn and other crops to feed farm animals. Putin’s war has forced many countries including the UK to consider the worrying weaknesses in their food security. That, at least, could be a good thing.

Many remain unconcerned about the cost of poultry. Vegans and vegetarians are probably more worried about the rising price of nuts. In fact, a good nut roast can be at least as delicious as a slice of turkey breast and avoids concerns over animal welfare. 

CHRISTMAS FUTURE

So what can we expect from Christmas Future? Will people still be eating turkey in 2050? Will we be eating fake meat? Will most people be vegetarian? Or will we be tucking into roast crickets? There is a perception of the insect world as being somehow unclean and unpleasant. Which does make them a difficult sell as a food item. Insects have long been on the traditional menu in many parts of the world including China, so it’s probably just a question of shifting cultural bias. 

Mass production of insects for the food market is already well under way. They are used in some pet foods and fertilisers. They are also used to feed animals that will be eaten by humans. When it comes to chickens, turkeys and ducks, this is actually part of their natural diet, albeit pecked from the ground rather than processed in a factory. Another significant use of farmed insects is in feeding commercially farmed fish. We are currently dredging our oceans of small fish in order to feed the great containers of captive fish that end up on supermarket shelves. This is completely unsustainable and has a devastating impact upon populations of wild fish.

Farming of insects can be done in vertical fashion; housing the creatures in high rise accommodation. This means minimising the amount of land use. Insects offer very high levels of protein with minimal impact upon the environment. They are also a source of vitamins and iron. I’ve not yet spotted insect snacks appearing on the shelves, but I don’t think it will be long. As of last February, the EU had approved three types of insect for use as a food ingredient or snack. 

BREXIT LAG

Brexit has left us lagging well behind in this area. Last year a WWF report claimed that using insect protein in animal feed could cut the UK’s soya imports by 20%. Soy mono-crops are associated with deforestation and heavy use of agricultural chemicals.

I couldn’t help but wonder how much the TV show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here has influenced people’s attitudes to insects. Has the regular bombarding of well-known faces with showers of bugs made people feel more or less averse to critters that creep and crawl? And is the use of living creatures for shock value entertainment really acceptable? Some would say no.

As seems often to be the case, I’m A Celebrity – Get Me Out Of Here – generated many controversies. Some felt that Boy George should not have been included, citing his previous imprisonment and assault of an escort. More people were angry that Matt Hancock took part – while on the government’s payroll, and while scandals continue about his role in the handling of Covid and nursing home deaths, which may have been avoidable.

Succulent Locust?

Others spared a thought for the thousands of insects, reptiles and other animals captured, killed, abused – all to make the jungle inhabitants face ‘bush tucker trials’ and other contrived contests.

One person who took action is Animal Concern’s John F Robins. He reminded Australian authorities of their very clear animal abuse laws and demanded action.

SENTIENT CREATURES

Mr Robins told Hastings Independent: “I’m a Celebrity producers regard animals as props and not sentient creatures capable of suffering fear and stress. Putting animals in close confinement with scared and nervous humans is the perfect way to cause the animals to suffer. I think three parts of local animal welfare laws have been breached and I’ve asked New South Wales Police to investigate.”

Many ecological experts fear that we are vastly changing the food chain, and claim many insect species are under threat. 

Mr Robins wrote to the Australian authorities saying: “I write concerning possible breaches of your Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act 1979 on the set of TV programme I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here which is being broadcast to the UK from Creek Road, Dungay, New South Wales.

“Reptiles and other vertebrates, including rats, have been put into small spaces into which human participants then enter and try to retrieve reward tokens. In some instances, the animals and humans are in total darkness.

Grub’s Up – edible insects as German street food
CREDIT: Wilhelm Thomas Fiegge

“The natural reaction of animals when confronted by humans is to avoid contact and conflict by moving away from the humans. The sets used for this programme are designed so as to stop the animals following their natural instincts and instead the animals are forced into close contact with people. Apart from the risk of being trampled, the animals will undoubtedly be suffering extreme stress and anxiety.”

Insects play a vital part in our ecosystem and food chain. Loss of habitat, increased use of pesticides and climate change are all threatening our pollinators and other animals that supply food for birds and mammals. A recent study suggests there may be a 9% decline in many species per decade.

We may come to regret how we’ve treated creatures great and small; is it really necessary to have insects eaten alive, creatures captured and terrified so we can watch celebrities squirm in discomfort?