Angelica Campion

The ‘Bavard Bar ‘a platform for your passion’, is a monthly evening at the Kino in St Leonards where three people try to speak inspiringly on a subject for 15 minutes each. I had heard some great reports about this night so was keen to go.

My first visit was some months back. One ‘Bavarder’ talked about sex and relationships but came across as patronising to anyone over 25, however it did give us a good laugh. Another was a man with a lifelong connection with the Unification Church otherwise known as the Moonies, which is considered by most people, a cult. I was looking forward to hearing how he’d escaped their clutches, but he failed to denounce their leader the ‘Reverend’ Moon (a messiah claimant) and treated us to lengthy bible passages.

Unarguably, Tim Crook who runs this night is a good presenter and amusing host, Dan who plays classical piano versions of Nirvana songs and the like during the breaks is entertaining, and the Kino venue is a great place for any gig. I assumed this Bavard would be an improvement on my last visit. It couldn’t be worse.

It could.

After Tim’s warm up about how he doesn’t ever watch television but is obsessed by Love Island, first up was Mr Folk Dancing ‘expert’. Indigenous English dancing is a niche and not very interesting subject – there is not a World Cup of Morris Dancing on the TV every four years.

His unrequited longing to be a stand-up comedian was as clear as the projector showing old pictures of folksey dancers while he made comments about their clothing. There was so little to say about this subject, he rounded up ten members of the audience to get down to the stage area and taught them to mince about and crash into each other while we watched in mock horror.

Next up was Sarah Janes, her 15 minutes entitled Memory & Money. What she doesn’t seem to know anything about though is Money. And she forgot to mention anything about Memory (although I may have forgotten). If she’d written a lot of interesting facts on slips of paper and randomly pulled them out of a hat to read one by one, it may have made more sense.

Then it really went tits up.

Confusion as to what her actual point was, suddenly crystallised when she mentioned Abraham-Hicks & the Law of Attraction. Alarm bells! Another cult! Abraham-Hicks has made the couple who run it very wealthy.

To finish off, she projected a large picture of a cheque for £500, all we had to do was photograph it and believe, and it would come our way.

Lastly a nice older bloke with a passion for the Beat & Zen generation of poets of San Francisco waffled on about Gary Snyder, forever.

My friend Gavin (who coincidentally used to be The Cult’s tour manager) claimed to be interested but fell asleep, as did others (see photo).

If communicating your passion makes some people lose the will to live, then maybe you just shouldn’t. A regular attendee of these nights tells me I happen to have caught the two ‘least inspiring’ Bavards in living memory and usually it’s a great evening. So don’t let me put you off going.

Bavard could invite Sheikh Gulzar to talk about his new pier. The Sheikh recently compared himself to the Son of God and is now known as Pier Jesus among locals. He could start a cult.

The Bavard Bar @ The Kino Teatr in St Leonards on Sea. £7

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