‘Let me show you what Hastings has to offer in the way of entertainment’, I said to my friend Suzie Zamit, one of the UK’s finest sculptors, recently relocated to our seaside manor. She was keen to go to the Jerwood Gallery. She was not keen to go to one of the many clairvoyant nights that Hastings is known for. I was!

I do have some connection with the spirit world. I used to see things as a child and was dragged off to be exorcised when I was ten. Also, my sister-in-law is a medium. So you can see how well qualified I am to review this Spookathon.

My friend and I had one of the BEST evenings, despite being 100% non-believers. (Hopefully that will stop us being pelted with eggs in the street). My main fear was not that I would be contacted by my late father, but that I would start laughing and not be able to stop. It’s important to say that in no way do I intend to dismiss anyone who attended this evening. The people I met told me they are looking for hope, comfort, entertainment, to meet new people, possibly have a laugh, or just to be creeped out.

The Clairvoyant Evening plus Dinner for around 40 people at the Russian-Armenian restaurant NUR in Hastings starts with an hour of greet and nervously meet before it all kicks off. We met some interesting people, including the event organiser Linda (Ed Harcourt’s cousin and cousin by marriage to the deceased Timothy Leary. Blimey!).


Oliver Carpenter-Beale

In the now silent restaurant, first up was medium Oliver Carpenter-Beale, a not very confident individual. He inferred that a spirit was present who wanted to speak to the guy opposite us. (The guy later told me he’d recently lost his mum and had hoped to contact her). Unfortunately, this spirit was a man and nothing Oliver passed on seemed to be resonating. Keen to bring the reading to a close, he said ‘I see a garden fork’. A woman at our table muttered ‘Well I’ve got a bloody garden fork’.

Rather alarmingly, Oliver then turned his attention to me. A new spirit was in the room, a woman under 5 ft tall on my mother’s side who was a writer (he knew I was a 4ft 10inch reviewer) and she was giving me the thumbs up. If it was my average height grandmother Bertha, born in 1888, crouching down and writing a shopping list, I’m not convinced she’d be doing the thumbs up.

Christana Green

After dinner, our second medium, Christina Green, was more confident. Good looking with a red manicure, she would insist she was correct even if her subjects made doubtful faces. ‘I definitely see a grave/ a bungalow/ a man, tallish’. Her spirits were also keen to pass on medical information. ‘Do you know someone with cancer? Diabetes? A tattoo?’ she asked.

‘I’ve got a tattoo’, muttered the woman at our table. ‘Hasn’t everyone in Hastings?’ I whispered back. We got told off for speaking while the medium was mediuming. It was a bit like being at school, except the teachers were all dead.

In the middle of Christina’s last ‘reading’ there was a very loud knocking noise. I lost it. Suzie lost it. The two sisters next to us lost it. Silently crying with laughter is an art, I’ll have you know.

I had a chat with Christina afterwards. I believe that she believes she is genuine and wants to bring people comfort. She was sorry that she hadn’t been able to come to ‘read’ me during her turn because Oliver had already ‘done’ me and there was an unspoken agreement between mediums not to ‘read’ the same person. However, during the evening they both explained how it was the spirits who guided them to certain people. I’m not sure those two things match up, really, but Christina seemed a genuinely caring person.

One day, will ‘clairvoyant brain’ be a recognised condition, a kind of short-circuiting hallucinatory genetic mutation? I’m sure many would disagree but sometimes people believe what they want to believe. Some people believe Donald Trump is a stable genius.

One of the attendees had been to the White Rock Theatre to see a clairvoyant off the telly. ‘She wasn’t very good, she got nearly everything wrong’, said this lady. ‘She’s great on the TV, but they edit it, don’t they?’

Whoah there! If you think that, then why are you here?! That’s the mystery of the Spookathon. Who cares? It’s great entertainment.

Christina Green’s next event is: Dynamic Psychic & Paranormal Supper at The Cavendish Hotel in Eastbourne on Friday 26th October 2018.

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