BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU SQUIRM
Sajid Javid, owner of the most insincere face outside of Boris Johnson’s, is, it seems, quite prepared to say absolutely anything in order to be included in the post-brexit dystopian nightmare dictatorship envisaged by Dominic Cummings, a cackling Bond-villain character whose modus operandi would have been rejected by Ian Fleming on the grounds that it was just too far-fetched. Like the rest of the conservative cosa nostra Javid is following Cummings’ diktat – to repeat certain prescribed phrases ad vomitam: ‘Get Brexit Done’, ‘The Surrender Bill’, ‘The Overwhelming Democratic Will Of The People’ etc. Only the other day I heard Victoria Borwick, Johnson’s former deputy Mayor, interviewed on TV outside Westminster. She was asked a leading Brexit question and replied, tellingly, “What we need to concentrate on is an orderly…er…on…getting Brexit done.” With the assistance of the right-wing press, whose overseas owners stand to make a killing from shorting the UK economy, these shallow, mendacious, Cummins-coined sound bites have been engraved on the minds of people who formerly had no interest whatsoever in politics – and in a fiendishly clever way. Such is the adversarial nature of what passes as discourse these days, plain reason is simply shouted down. Legions of ignorant, cowardly keyboard bullies whose algorithm-entitled bile knows no bounds. operate from a position of absolute baseless certainty, so that the very idea that insidious mind-manipulation is occurring at a very high level is the biggest insult you can hurl at them. “Me? Manipulated? How dare you! Are you saying I’m (God forbid) stupid, and may be susceptible to sophisticated forms of persuasion? That sort of unsportsmanlike shenanigans may have worked for the likes of Hitler and Stalin, but for heaven’s sake, we are The British!” And there you have it. When you have a carrot that good, you hardly need a stick. 


BLUNT SPEAKING
Cockney rhyming songster and ex-squaddie James Blunt, the man with the emptiest soul in the west, has attracted a great deal of negative attention for his support for Brexit, particularly from fellow musicians who are not lucky enough have paid lackeys to deal with all the extra hoops they are now going to have to jump through when visiting Europe. The cloth-eared ex-soldier told the Independent’s Ed Cumming: “I’m going to carry on touring through Europe whatever happens. Rather than having a title on it, my call to arms would be get the f*** on with it, because our lives aren’t going to change. My tour manager is going to be pissed off he has to fill in a few more forms, but whatever you do, get on with it, because the limbo is killing us.” Speaking of limbo, the smug grin on Blunt’s eminently slappable face is likely to turn upside down once his ‘fans’ realise what an utter
Merchant Banker he is.


DON QUIXOTE
In the world of renewable energy, Boris Johnson is a huge source of wind power. That, coupled with his minus-40 majority, his secrecy, his malformed personality and his deranged, psychopathic puppeteer obviously makes him the biggest defender of decency and parliamentary democracy in the world. He will make the trains run on time any day soon. The Very Stupid People are swallowing all this Orwellesque, algorithm-propelled propaganda, and appear to be actually looking forward to some kind of dictatorship, which, they will find out when it is far too late, is going to be far from benign. Now the Brexit Gang are welcomed as they drive a diesel-powered, uninsured bulldozer through our unwritten constitution. They will get away with it too, knowing that everyone will just stand around and stare, as though watching a slickly choreographed, blockbuster action movie car crash, which I suppose is what it is.


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