Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
HOW TO IGNORE PRAGMATISM AND STAMPEDE OVER THE CLIFF LIKE PROPER LEMMINGS
Since the UK’s quiet little right-wing coup has taken over Downing Street, we have noticed an alarming trend in online opinion-stirring which goes something like this: “It’s all a waste of time, because every single politician is f***ng useless, and couldn’t organise a p*ss-up in a brewery” – a confident, catch-all trope intended to imply that, ergo, they are all like Boris Johnson and his gang of gambling-obsessed money launderers. This is blindingly, obviously and patently untrue and furthermore, as an excuse
for allowing the school bully’s best friend and his desperate band of financial pirates to remain in office whilst they defecate all over the country and the constitution, it has no worth whatever.
The point is surely this: a cabal of very bad people have bet an enormous amount of money on our economy turning to merde. Their wager is safe, because the government is firmly in their pockets thanks to Bojo The Clown, installed at number 10 to distract the needy, and Dominic Cummings, the sinister locum Prime Minister, (a political mercenary once described, by David Cameron no less, as a “career psychopath”), hired to “take care of business” and grease the wheels of kleptocracy. All this murky malarkey exists at the very opposite end of the scale to democracy and is something which should disturb every right-thinking citizen of the UK. Lobbytroll’s view is this: shooting the messenger is for nihilistic armchair cynics and will lead us on a fast trip around the u-bend and into the already overflowing sewerage system. Meanwhile, the real villains shin down the drainpipe with the swag and split, laughing all the way to the offshore bank. This is not a brewery and it’s not a p*ss-up, as we are all about to find out to our great cost. Boris Johnson’s donor Crispin Odey has £300m bet against
I REMEMBER WHEN ALL THIS WAS EXACTLY THE SAME
As a distraction from the toxic state of international diplomacy, the Jeffery Epstein story is something of a gift. As a font of paranoid fancy, it has been welcomed by Brexit-weary keyboard warriors. It’s a sign of the times though innit (lol)? I mean, it comes to something doesn’t it, when a billionaire financier with elite social connections and a dossier full of famous names to whom he is accused of trafficking and supplying under-aged girls for sex can’t even commit apparent suicide in his jail cell without triggering ridiculous conspiracy theories any more?
HAVE YOU EVER HAD PPI? DOES YOUR WIFE KNOW?
We were astounded to hear the other day, an LBC radio presenter criticising the recent ruling by the Advertising Standards Authority on stereotyping in commercials. Challenging or commenting on their main source of revenue is of course strictly forbidden by the station’s bosses, and no wonder. The patronising tone and utter contempt with which all commercial radio advertisers appeal to their potential customers contrasts widely with the programmes’ holier-than-thou, expert-in-all-matters presenting style.
It is painfully obvious that this core audience is regarded by the advertisers as a shallow, uneducated pool of gullible idiots, so how do the radio presenterss feel about that? They cannot say of course, because this contemptible, condescending garbage is precisely what keeps companies like LBC afloat, and the presenters are contractually forbidden to bite the hand that feeds them. Lobbytroll says: cut out the emetic morality lectures please, (terms and conditions apply, you will never own this car, gambling is foolproof, when the fun starts, stop).
We hope you have enjoyed reading this article. The future of our volunteer led, non-profit publication would be far more secure with the aid of a small donation. You can also support local journalism by becoming a friend of HIP. It only takes a minute and we would be very grateful.