IT’S THE STUPIDITY, STUPID
As embarrassing to the UK as Brexit is, nothing causes foreign visitors’ jaws to drop more than the flag-draped, cerebrally challenged rabble currently camped outside the Houses of Parliament. With their cretinous football chants, moronic slogans and mad staring eyes, these deluded halfwits (formerly confined to Speakers Corner in Hyde Park) claim to be expressing their forthright political beliefs, but sadly, appear to have simply forgotten to take their medication.


BREXIT EARS
To the dismay of many, the Brexit divisions continue to propagate ignorance by asking the less-informed sections of the electorate for their opinions – and getting them. But you have to admit, a lot of these people present some very persuasive arguments. One of Lobbytroll’s favourites, based on pragmatism, a deep understanding of current and historical international economic relationships and a lawyer’s grasp of fiendishly complex trade agreements, goes like this: “You lost. Get over it.” 


TOTAL ASH-HOLE 
Brexit Party leader, Smokin’ Nigel Farage, recently hired by the Fox Network as a ‘political analyst’, has recently confounded science by correcting the, until now, widely held assumption that there is a connection between tobacco and ill-health. The human ashtray twittered that “The World Health Organization is just another club of ‘clever people’ who want to bully us and tell us what to do. Ignore”. Does Donald Trump, best pal of the beer swilling Emperor of The Thick, smoke? I suspect not, but I fancy the orangeman’s tiny fingers are no strangers to the inside of the tobacco lobby’s bottomless wallet.


SITTING ON DEFENCE
In the light of the appalling contribution of the UK’s cynical arms industry to the death toll in Yemen’s proxy war, shouldn’t blood-sucking ‘defence contractors’ BAE really be described as attack contractors?


I CAN TELL A LIE
Since the arrest of Julian Assange, Donald Trump appears to have had a memory reassignment. Messages he tweeted to his gullible supporters during the 2016 campaign were, apparently, fake news. 

10th October 2016: 
“WikiLeaks, I love WikiLeaks.”

12th October 2016: 
“This WikiLeaks stuff is unbelievable, it tells you the inner heart, you got to read it.” 

17th October 2016: 
“WikiLeaks proves even the Clinton campaign knew Crooked (Hilary) mishandled classified info, but no one gets charged? RIGGED,”

31st October 2016: 
“This WikiLeaks is like a treasure trove.”

12th April 2019: 
“I know nothing about WikiLeaks.”
Will they swallow it? Undoubtedly.


We hope you have enjoyed reading this article. The future of our volunteer led, non-profit publication would be far more secure with the aid of a small donation. You can also support local journalism by becoming a friend of HIP. It only takes a minute and we would be very grateful.