Imagined by Fiona McGarry

Something strange is going on and I can’t put my paw on it. I live with a little old lady. She’s very nice; she feeds me well and we spend a lot of time together. But now we’re spent even more time together – all the time in fact! 

Stranger still, the others in the house are always hanging around. I take them out sometimes in the afternoons – if it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t get any exercise! They spend most of their time cooking and talking about food now – but they’ve stopped giving me treats. They say I’m getting fat! And you know what? That’s because the ‘dog walker’ has stopped coming, and I can’t go charging round the woods anymore.

But I still take other friends and neighbours for walks, like Rachel and Anne. Suddenly, everyone wants to go out with me! But they’re not themselves. Instead of coming in for tea afterwards, they stay in the garden like feral creatures. They’ll be going through the bins next!  

I’ve also noticed there are more dogs now when we’re out. The local pack seem to be walking their companions all the time. And they don’t stop and chat anymore. I don’t have a chance to have a good sniff of my friends – but the air seems to smell much nicer.

And what happened to that pesky toddler? She doesn’t come around now. She used to poke me and pull my ears. I pretended to enjoy it and would give her a lick. Talking of licks, the old lady doesn’t touch me much now and she’s always washing her hands – I tried licking them really clean, but she just washed them again.  

When’s it going to end? I so miss the treats from those nice people in The Edge café.  

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