Sausage Life
The column that thinks shorting the pound is the new yoga MYSELF: A friend of mine told me a very good joke the other : A joke! Excellent! I love : I know you do and you’ll love this one.…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
HOW TO IGNORE PRAGMATISM AND STAMPEDE OVER THE CLIFF LIKE PROPER LEMMINGSSince the UK’s quiet little right-wing coup has taken over Downing Street, we have noticed an alarming trend in online opinion-stirring which goes something like this: “It’s all a waste…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
HAIR HITLERIf you don’t recognise the boiling resentment of 1933 Germany being reflected in this evil gang of swivel-eyed villains, the engineers of a coup that has just taken over the government of the UK, then you are blind, mad,…
Sausage Life
The column that suspects there may not necessarily be a German word for everything (Möglicherweisegibtesnicht füralleseindeutscheswort) AHEM“Haverstock House was a splendid, regal, crumbling Elizabethan pile. Although her intimidating towers stood loyally to attention, like twin beacons guarding a lost, promised…
Sausage Life!
The column which puts the bubble in your squeak and then bursts it. MYSELF: I assume you applied your Keith Richards mascara, clipped a parrot on your shoulder and walked the alcoholic plank last Sunday, utterly convinced you were the…
Sausage Life
The column that went to Glastonbury in a brand-new Mercedes with a four storey air-conditioned yurt READER: So, you’re back from Glastonbury. How was it?MYSELF: Underwhelming. So much miming. Can’t people play anymore?READER: Miming?MYSELF: Yes, and I’m not talking about…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
BORIS’S DEAD CAT Anyone for PM? Champion of the low-income obese Boris Johnson has been reduced, in the absence of any discernible policies which are not dog-whistle soundbites, to ridiculous non sequiturs and verbal wiff-waffle. The half-dead Tory members, it appears,…
Sausage Life
Bird GuanoThe column that resembles one of the holy saints dressed as a wolf in sheep’s clothing READER: Who impressed you the most then?MYSELF: Mohammed Ali, The Beatles, Martin Luther King……READER: No, I’m talking about the Tory leadership : Impressed…
Politikal Pokes by Lobbytroll
THE BIG FIGHTThe ghastly stiffs engaged in the tory leadership contest have gradually been eliminated. Now only slab of lard Boris Johnson and pale glass of mineral water Jeremy Hunt (is he half full or half empty?) remain. Most disturbing…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
CHEERSXenophobe and enemy of the NHS, Nigel Farage, has been comparatively quiet during the 75th anniversary of D-Day, a remarkable feat of taciturnity for a man whose wide beer-hole is framed by such loose and opinionated lips. Was the leader…