Features

Sausage life

The column which uses a periscope even when it isn’t underwater READER: Why the long face? MYSELF:  I’m getting into character. READER: Gosh, that sounds interesting, what for? MYSELF:  I’m rehearsing for a part in the Meatfield Repertory Company’s production…
Read More...
Satire

Sausage Life

The column which thinks taxidermy is the new tattooing READER: I’m having a tattoo, as it happens MYSELF: Where? READER: Where else? At SailorBware, the coolest tattoo parlour in town. MYSELF: No, I meant where on your body? READER: Oh,…
Read More...
Features

Sausage Life

The column which thinks that tired, worn-out cliché is the elephant in the room READER: Football’s coming home! And on top of a glorious heatwave to boot! MYSELF:  I assume you’re referring to plucky little England’s first ever penalty shoot-out…
Read More...
Features

Sausage life!

The column that won’t shoot until it sees the whites of your eggs READER: I see there were riots at the Poundland closing-down sale. MYSELF: I’m not surprised. There was 10% off everything. READER: So what happened? MYSELF: Apparently the…
Read More...
Features

Sausage Life

The column which thinks that a cambio is as good as a siesta READER: You know what’s missing from this column, don’t you? MYSELF: A crossword? READER: Wow! How did you know I was going to say that? MYSELF: Oddly…
Read More...
Features

Sausage Life

The column firmly aimed at the louche, disaffected bon viveur and the properly bearded man-about-town READER:  The Royal Wedding! Did you see it? MYSELF:  See it? I was there mate. READER:  No! Really? MYSELF:  If you were watching it on…
Read More...