Sausage life
The column which uses a periscope even when it isn’t underwater READER: Why the long face? MYSELF: I’m getting into character. READER: Gosh, that sounds interesting, what for? MYSELF: I’m rehearsing for a part in the Meatfield Repertory Company’s production…
Sausage Life
The column which thinks taxidermy is the new tattooing READER: I’m having a tattoo, as it happens MYSELF: Where? READER: Where else? At SailorBware, the coolest tattoo parlour in town. MYSELF: No, I meant where on your body? READER: Oh,…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE Perhaps one should blame the current trend for acceptable obfuscation and bare-faced mendacity in politics for the Lewis Carroll situation we find ourselves in in Hastings? In the absence of any evidence to the contrary, an…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
THE UNDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION Mrs. May has ordered that members of the cabinet remain locked in the headmistress’s office at Chequers until a ‘solution’ to the insoluble question of the Dog’s Brexit has been reached. This has allegedly produced, thanks to…
Sausage Life
The column which thinks that tired, worn-out cliché is the elephant in the room READER: Football’s coming home! And on top of a glorious heatwave to boot! MYSELF: I assume you’re referring to plucky little England’s first ever penalty shoot-out…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
PAINTING THE TOWN GOLD According to Adam Stephens and Finbarr O’Connell, of Heritage Lottery Fund-appointed administrators Smith & Williamson LLP: “After careful assessment of all offers received for the pier, the successful transfer to Abid Gulzar, the owner of Eastbourne…
Sausage life!
The column that won’t shoot until it sees the whites of your eggs READER: I see there were riots at the Poundland closing-down sale. MYSELF: I’m not surprised. There was 10% off everything. READER: So what happened? MYSELF: Apparently the…
Sausage Life
The column which thinks that a cambio is as good as a siesta READER: You know what’s missing from this column, don’t you? MYSELF: A crossword? READER: Wow! How did you know I was going to say that? MYSELF: Oddly…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
SEA CHANGE – AS GOOD AS A REST? Empty office buildings in Havelock Rd, ‘business parks’ that decimate areas of outstanding natural beauty whilst remaining unfinished and deserted, and the still undemolished Queensbury House, a tatty multi-storey 1960s eyesore which…
Sausage Life
The column firmly aimed at the louche, disaffected bon viveur and the properly bearded man-about-town READER: The Royal Wedding! Did you see it? MYSELF: See it? I was there mate. READER: No! Really? MYSELF: If you were watching it on…