Sausage Life
Bird Guano The column which believes there is only a fine line between mumbo and jumbo READER: I can’t take much more of thisMYSELF: More of what? The heat? The lockdown? The government?READER: War and Peace. It’s so bloody long!…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
STAND TO ATTENTION WHILE YOU’RE DROWNING! Hard-nosed no-nonsense give ‘em a taste of their own medicine Home Secretary Priti Patel is getting tough with migrants. She’s sending in the navy. I don’t exactly know how this is going to pan…
Sausage life
The column which thinks that Kanye West is to music what Donald Trump is to truth MYSELF: Don’t you find it immensely depressing that we are surrounded by people staring at their phones instead of talking, smiling and interacting with…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
WHO’S THE FAIREST? I think Batty Boris has one of those mirrors similar to the one employed by the wicked queen in Snow White. As he stares into it like Narcissus at the pool, he sees a composite image of…
Sausage Life
Bird Guano The column which believes that reshuffling a sack of rattlesnakes makes little difference to your chances of being bitten. MYSELF: Did you see that big Chinook military helicopter flying over yesterday like a wounded dragonfly?READER: Yes! It was…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
GAMBLING’S BACK The betting industry’s radio commercials are already bark-ing like jackals, heralding “the return of sport”. Sport? Ha! The return of licensed pickpocketing more like. Football is back of course, but in its Covid-19 incarnation is rather like having…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
UNION JACKOFF Now that Nigel Farage, the official spokesman for the terminally thick, has been unceremoniously kicked off the commercial radio station LBC, he will no doubt be able to spend more quality time with his ‘family’. We saw the…
Sausage Life
The column which, until yesterday, had a statue of Lord Nelson on top READER: Well what do you expect? Everyone knows that Horatio Nelson was an unlicensed chicken breeder who bought his title from the same place as that bloke…
Sausage Life
The column that believes impatience is rewarding. READER: Wow, I hear you won the lottery, how much?MYSELF: I’d rather not say. I ticked the “no publicity” box, so only The Mail, The Sun, The Daily Sport, and Hello magazine know…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
BLIND MAN’S BLUFF Let’s not beat about the bush. Dominic Cummings is a dangerous threat to parliamentary democracy, not to mention innocent motorists. This is a man who is apparently unable to empathise or apologise, to the extent that he…