Sausage Life!
BY Bird Guano The column which leaps before it looks READER: I suppose, like the rest of us, you’ve been glued to Killing Eve. Who did you think did the…. MYSELF: Sorry, can I stop you there? READER: What? Why?…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
DEAD IN THE WATER So the £500,000 proposal by Hastings Harbour Quarter (HHQ) to construct, right in the heart of Hastings’ fishing quarter, a luxury marina for 600 boats, a spanking new harbour (for the fishing fleet) and 1,300 floating…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
TRUFFLES AT MILL A warning to any talk radio broadcaster foolish enough to suggest that deliberately misleading misinformation was the driving force behind the “will o’ the people” Brexit vote; your switchboard will soon be jammed by calls from apoplectic…
Sausage Life
BY Bird Guano The column which makes its bed but often forgets to lie in it ROGUE STARLING IN SHARK ATTACK READER: That’s a ridiculous headline. Where are you going to go with that? MYSELF: The trouble with you is,…
Sausage life
The column which believes that life is a journey, but often the services have unsatisfactory toilet facilities READER: What about Theresa then? MYSELF: What about her? READER: What else? The dancing! What a revelation! MYSELF: Ah yes, quite breathtaking, in…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
LET THE HARD BREX BEGIN Like the perpetual threat of a shower, PM Theresa May appears to be always on the verge of bursting into tears, even during our delightful spell of summer weather. On her recent Brexit-related trade mission…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
Open Letter Dear Hastings Borough Council. Do you think there might be the flimsiest chance you could do something about the 16 bars of tinny, inept, patronizing, ghastly, amateurish “music”, the repetition of which you appear to think will soothe…
Sausage Life
BY Bird Guano The column which wanders lonely as a cloud, but never seems to come across any daffodils. READER: have you seen the new zoo? MYSELF: Zoo? READER: Yes. On the pier. MYSELF: Have you taken leave of your…
Sausage life
The column which uses a periscope even when it isn’t underwater READER: Why the long face? MYSELF: I’m getting into character. READER: Gosh, that sounds interesting, what for? MYSELF: I’m rehearsing for a part in the Meatfield Repertory Company’s production…
Sausage Life
The column which thinks taxidermy is the new tattooing READER: I’m having a tattoo, as it happens MYSELF: Where? READER: Where else? At SailorBware, the coolest tattoo parlour in town. MYSELF: No, I meant where on your body? READER: Oh,…