Sausage Life
The column which asks: why aren’t children allowed to join the House of Commons straight from school? READER: I thought they already : It was a rhetorical question. MYTHBUSTERSThe truth behind some popular misconceptions MYTH: Money is an essential ingredient…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
BERTS OF A FEATHEROn January 26th there was a meeting between Amber Rudd and all interested parties concerning the extended closure of Hastings pier. At the meeting, pier owner Mr Abid Gulzar’s team, after being challenged about the dearth of…
Sausage Life
The column which demands a return to uncivilised values THE CARNIVORE IS OVERAn enterprising vegan butcher has opened a pop-up shop in Silverhill. Stanislav Waikiki’s Meat is Manslaughter will sell a range of items, including vegan pork chops, vegan sheep’s…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
BOOZING FOR BREXITIn an attempt to blind us with the science of words, cheap beer magnate Tim Martin made the Hastings branch of Wetherspoons (Trip Advisor’s “third worst Wetherspoons in Sussex” according to the Hastings Observer), one of his dog…
Sausage Life
The column which, without proper maintenance, would collapse under the weight of its own self-importance. WARRIORS RISE FROM THE ASHES Since the humiliating departure of no-nonsense shoot-from-the-hip, messiah complex manager Franco Machiavelli, widely blamed for Hastings & St Leonards Warriors…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
NO-SEE TV Hastings pier, as well as being a fibreglass Noah’s Ark and home of the biggest chain store charm bracelet in the world, is like a wind farm, except with CCTV cameras instead of giant electricity-generating fans. There are…
Sausage Life
The column which thinks Christmas should be not seen and not heard READER: I will ignore that shallow humbuggery, I’m looking forward to it. Are you having Christmas dinner at home this year? MYSELF: Christmas dinner in? Are you mad?…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WORKHOUSE AND PENSIONS Has our cling-on MP Amber Rudd no sense of shame? This Dickensian government appears determined to inflict its Oliver Twist values on a society already reeling from the sucker punch of austerity, but…
Sausage Life!
The column which avoids metaphor because when you are trying to sell someone a rudderless ship, it’s best not to mention the leaky lifeboats READER: Black Friday! I’m so excited! MYSELF: I imagine you are. What kind of bargain are…
Politikal Pokes by lobbytroll
POSH & BREX We recently attended a meeting of the Eurosceptic Institute for Mumbo Jumbo, Baloney & Contemptible Bunkum, where we asked chief mannikin Jacob Rees-Mogg, what possible reason there might be for a man of his social position to…