Satire

Sausage Life!

BY Bird Guano The column which leaps before it looks READER: I suppose, like the rest of us, you’ve been glued to Killing Eve. Who did you think did the…. MYSELF: Sorry, can I stop you there? READER: What? Why?…
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Features

Sausage Life

BY Bird Guano The column which makes its bed but often forgets to lie in it ROGUE STARLING IN SHARK ATTACK READER:  That’s a ridiculous headline. Where are you going to go with that? MYSELF:  The trouble with you is,…
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Features

Sausage life

The column which believes that life is a journey, but often the services have unsatisfactory toilet facilities READER: What about Theresa then? MYSELF: What about her? READER: What else? The dancing! What a revelation! MYSELF:  Ah yes, quite breathtaking, in…
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Features

Sausage Life

BY Bird Guano The column which wanders lonely as a cloud, but never seems to come across any daffodils. READER:  have you seen the new zoo? MYSELF:  Zoo? READER:  Yes. On the pier. MYSELF:  Have you taken leave of your…
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Features

Sausage life

The column which uses a periscope even when it isn’t underwater READER: Why the long face? MYSELF:  I’m getting into character. READER: Gosh, that sounds interesting, what for? MYSELF:  I’m rehearsing for a part in the Meatfield Repertory Company’s production…
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Satire

Sausage Life

The column which thinks taxidermy is the new tattooing READER: I’m having a tattoo, as it happens MYSELF: Where? READER: Where else? At SailorBware, the coolest tattoo parlour in town. MYSELF: No, I meant where on your body? READER: Oh,…
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