Sausage Life
Bird Guano The column which believes that reshuffling a sack of rattlesnakes makes little difference to your chances of being bitten. MYSELF: Did you see that big Chinook military helicopter flying over yesterday like a wounded dragonfly?READER: Yes! It was…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
GAMBLING’S BACK The betting industry’s radio commercials are already bark-ing like jackals, heralding “the return of sport”. Sport? Ha! The return of licensed pickpocketing more like. Football is back of course, but in its Covid-19 incarnation is rather like having…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
UNION JACKOFF Now that Nigel Farage, the official spokesman for the terminally thick, has been unceremoniously kicked off the commercial radio station LBC, he will no doubt be able to spend more quality time with his ‘family’. We saw the…
Sausage Life
The column which, until yesterday, had a statue of Lord Nelson on top READER: Well what do you expect? Everyone knows that Horatio Nelson was an unlicensed chicken breeder who bought his title from the same place as that bloke…
Sausage Life
The column that believes impatience is rewarding. READER: Wow, I hear you won the lottery, how much?MYSELF: I’d rather not say. I ticked the “no publicity” box, so only The Mail, The Sun, The Daily Sport, and Hello magazine know…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
BLIND MAN’S BLUFF Let’s not beat about the bush. Dominic Cummings is a dangerous threat to parliamentary democracy, not to mention innocent motorists. This is a man who is apparently unable to empathise or apologise, to the extent that he…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
CARELESS TALK COSTS LIVES That Dominic Cummings’ in-competent self-serving ad-ministration is in ideological turmoil is now clear. Behind the thin veneer of sobriety, they and their financiers were too busy guzzling the utopian champagne of a no-deal Brexit to notice…
Sausage Life!
The column that isn’t afraid to go shopping in pyjamas READER: I want to be the new slogan : You? What makes you think you would qualify?READER: Come on, it can’t be that difficult. I mean Stay Alert?MYSELF: Go on…
Sausage Life
The column which sings “People, people who say ‘sheeple’, are the sheepiest people in the world”. READER: I stopped washing my : Why so?READER: Hair dryers. David Icke says they are super-efficient Covid 19 transmitters, especially the Bluetooth ones manufactured…
Politikal Pokes By Lobbytroll
ANY OLD IRONY He doesn’t drink alcohol because it clouds his brain. His only known vices are Big Macs, long ties, Fox News, the acquisition of money rather than wealth, the magic mirror which tells him he is beautiful, and…