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Satire

Sausage Life

Bird Guano  The column which believes that reshuffling a sack of rattlesnakes makes little difference to your chances of being bitten. MYSELF: Did you see that big Chinook military helicopter flying over yesterday like a wounded dragonfly?READER: Yes! It was…
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Sausage Life

The column which, until yesterday, had a statue of Lord Nelson on top  READER: Well what do you expect? Everyone knows that Horatio Nelson was an unlicensed chicken breeder who bought his title from the same place as that bloke…
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Satire

Sausage Life

The column that believes impatience is rewarding. READER: Wow, I hear you won the lottery, how much?MYSELF: I’d rather not say. I ticked the “no publicity” box, so only The Mail, The Sun, The Daily Sport, and Hello magazine know…
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Features

Sausage Life!

The column that isn’t afraid to go shopping in pyjamas READER: I want to be the new slogan : You? What makes you think you would qualify?READER: Come on, it can’t be that difficult. I mean Stay Alert?MYSELF: Go on…
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Satire

Sausage Life

The column which sings “People, people who say ‘sheeple’, are the sheepiest people in the world”. READER: I stopped washing my : Why so?READER: Hair dryers. David Icke says they are super-efficient Covid 19 transmitters, especially the Bluetooth ones manufactured…
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