SEA CHANGE – AS GOOD AS A REST?
Empty office buildings in Havelock Rd, ‘business parks’ that decimate areas of outstanding natural beauty whilst remaining unfinished and deserted, and the still undemolished Queensbury House, a tatty multi-storey 1960s eyesore which is the first thing visitors to Hastings see as they exit the station plaza, reflect the general consensus that Sea Change Sussex, the publicly-funded ‘not-for-profit (sic) economic development agency’ are, to put it mildly, not up to snuff. Originally called SeaSpace the company presumably felt that a rebrand might rescue their plummeting public image. The idea being put forward in some quarters that its next change of name should be to Sea-Word is both vulgar and unhelpful and Lobbytroll would like to disassociate itself from any such suggestion.

WANTED: CHARISMA LESSONS
David Davis, the Secretary For Cocking Up Everything But Still Grinning Like A Guilty Hyena, has threatened to resign again. His ridiculous, louche, confident air with a hint of misunderstood negotiating genius, combined with the dopey, confused expression of a lottery winner makes him the perfect man to handle Brexit. This time he means it by the way, not like the other four times. This latest resignation threat is over the time limit for the Northern Irish ‘customs backstop option’, whatever that is supposed to mean. My guess is that the ex-SAS tough-guy with the petulant adolescent sulk either agrees with it or is opposed to it.  Are you sleepy yet?

OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE FUHRER
The man who sees himself as the architect and champion of the UK’s withdrawal from the EU, our MEP Nigel Farage, has come out in support of that other self-promoting windbag Boris Johnson in expressing the view that golf course entrepreneur Donald Trump would do a much better job of Brexit. “I don’t always agree with Boris Johnson,” said Nigel, “especially as his kind of Brexit would leave Britain with higher levels of immigration (whoops), but on the issues of trade and the UK’s global future, he is clearly becoming justifiably exasperated with the actions of the Treasury and the weak leadership of Theresa May.” The man who recently revealed that he will be gratefully accepting his EU parliamentary pension of  £73,000, despite being investigated and fined £35,000 for diverting EU secretarial expenses to UKIP continued, “When he said at a private dinner this week that Donald Trump would make a better job of our Brexit negotiations, I think he was on the money.” Did you mean in the money, Nigel? Perhaps the entire gang of shifty Brexit bores, including Johnson, Farage, Gove, Rees-Mogg, the barmy David Davis and the shadowy millionaire Arron Banks, ought to be called out and required to answer this more-than-pertinent question: What exactly will our departure from the European Union do for you personally?


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